


Let's go hand in hand, not one before the other

by limeblood



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Beach Sex, Blowjobs, Dissociation, Facials, Fingering, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Frottage, Hickeys, M/M, Morning Sex, Nipple Play, Oral Sex, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Sickfic, Snow Day, The sexy kind, shiromattweek, supportive relationship(s), tags will be added as new chapters are posted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-17 04:46:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8131004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limeblood/pseuds/limeblood
Summary: Fills for ShiroMattWeek promptsDay 1: departures/reunionsDay 2: nightmares/day dreamingDay 3: free dayDay 4: Good weather/bad weatherDay 5: Sun/MoonDay 6: Scars/bruisesDay 7: One sided piningUnbeta'd and written quickly.I'll try to keep up.





	1. Departures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro and the Holt family prepare for the Kerberos mission liftoff

This is the first time in forever that Matt’s seen his sister in a dress, and she looks distinctly uncomfortable.He appreciates the effort she’s made to look nice for his liftoff even if it is mostly forced. 

Shiro comes over with a camera (his mother’s he notices) and Matt makes a face out of habit. 

“Come on, Matt, just one picture?Ms. Holt won’t ever forgive me if you disappear into space and she hasn’t got anything to remember you by”. 

Matt relents, and pulls Katie closer to him.She pulls him into a one-armed hug, they smile as the camera flashes, and Shiro hands it over to Katie before she scampers off to join her parents. 

Shiro must notice the faraway look in his eyes, because he pulls Matt into a hug and says “She’ll be fine.”

“I know that,” Matt replies, resting his forehead on Shiro’s shoulder.“Of course I know that, why wouldn’t I know that?”

Shiro chuckles at him and drops a kiss on the crown of his head.“I know you know that.I’m just reminding you.”

Matt huffs, but leans a little harder into Shiro’s embrace. 

“It’s just…”Matt sighs, stumbling over his words.“She’s my little sister.And’s I’m going to literally be as far away from her as is humanly possible.She’s going to start high school and have her first kiss and make new friends and _grow up_ and I’m not going to be there!What kind of a big brother am I?”

“Matt,” Shiro says softly, tilting Matt’s head up to meet his eyes.“You’re a big brother that’s going to make history.We’re going to come back from Kerberos and you’re probably going to bring her a space rock or something and she’s going to freak out because she’s just as much of a nerd as you are.And yeah, she’s going to grow up, and she’s going to miss you like hell, but she’s strong, Matt, stronger than you think.And she is so, so proud of you.And if you don’t think that she’s going to bragging to all of her friends about how her brother has gone farther in the solar system than any other person, you’re dead wrong.She’ll be fine, Matt, and so will you.”

Matt’s eyes are shining, and he sniffs, burying his head in Shiro’s jacket for a moment of quiet.After a few quiet breaths, he resurfaces. 

“What about you, Kashi?”

“What about me?”

“You may be the master of pep talks, but you’re not a robot.How are you doing? How are you feeling about the liftoff?”

Shiro blushes slightly, feeling a bit exposed, but this is Matt.One of the things he loves about him is how quickly he learned to see through Shiro’s facade.It’s scary, but it means so much to him. 

“I’m worried about Keith.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.I know he’s set at the Garrison, and I know he’ll do well there, he’s talented, but he’s a bit of a loner.I’m worried he won’t make friends, or he’ll be made fun of.I know he’s not a kid anymore, but I can’t exactly turn this off.”Shiro sighs, his head resting on the top of Matt’s head as he rubs slow circles in Shiro’s lower back.“I guess it’s like you said,” he continues.“I’m not going to be there.”

“He’ll be alright,” Matt says.“Keith will be fine and Katie will be fine, and we’ll be fine.We’re going to make scientific history and they’ll survive a few years without us, and then we’ll be back and everything will be alright.”

“Yeah,” Shiro says.“We’ll be alright.”


	2. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro wakes from a nightmare to fine Matt trapped in a waking nightmare of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter involves dissociation and minor self harm. It's based heavily on my own experiences with with dissociation and panic attacks, so might not be universally true.

Shiro wakes with a jolt, covered in a cold sweat and alone in bed.Matt’s absence doesn’t help his panic as he takes deep gulping breaths and tries to calm himself down.He struggles out of the sheets he’d tangled himself in and flicks on the lights.The white light is harsh on his eyes, but better now than the darkness.He knows he’s safe here, in the castle, but he can’t help his imagination running wild. 

He leaves his room in a rush, no longer in a full blown panic, but his heartbeat is still up and his hands clammy.He’ll be fine he just needs to calm down, he just needs to ground himself.He needs Matt, if he’s honest. 

Shiro finds him (after wandering the dark halls for a few minutes) on the bridge, sitting in front of the windows, staring transfixed at the stars.Shiro moves quickly across the space to sit beside Matt, pressing himself against him, hoping the sharp jut of Matt’s shoulder, the warmth of his body will be enough to keep Shiro’s nightmares at bay. 

Matt doesn’t seem to notice him, though he curls slightly into himself.When Shiro turns to press a kiss to Matt’s jaw, he sees his eyes are wide and fearful, unmoving as he stares out into space.He wraps an arm around Matt’s shoulders, rubs his arm as he speaks. 

“Matt?Matty?You there?”

Matt eyebrows furrow, a small crease forming at the center, and it takes a while for him to respond. 

“Kashi?” he asks, his head turning ever so slightly toward Shiro, though his eyes stay fixed on the stars. 

“Matt, babe, what’s wrong?”

Again, it seems to take forever for Matt to hear him, and even then, he struggles to respond

“I… I can’t… Kashi… fuck, can’t!”

And suddenly Matt is pushing away from him, scrabbling at the floor to push himself backwards against the wall.

“Kashi I can’t I can’t!”

Shiro follows Matt across the floor, but stops when Matt only flinches away from him.Matt’s eyes are darting around the room, never landing on Shiro for more than an instant, and he twists his fingers in his lap until his skin goes white.He reaches up to tug at his hair, flutters his hands there for a moment before he goes to slapping his own upper arms, then back to twisting his fingers.His shoulders are hunched under his thin sleep shirt (one of Shiro’s) and he’s quaking, rocking back and forth gently. 

Shiro watches, silent, terrified for his love, frustrated that he can’t seem to help without Matt pulling away.As Matt wraps his arms around his torso and squeezes, digging his fingers into his sides, Shiro stands, whispers a quiet reassurance that Matt doesn’t seem to hear, before dashing to the kitchen.When he returns with a bowl of ice, Matt is raking his nails down his forearms, raising red trails in their wake, and Matt jumps when the bowl clatters against the floor when Shiro sits down.He takes an ice cube and presses it to Matt’s forearm, over the marks he had made.Matt inhales sharply, but the scratching slows, and after a long breath, he takes the ice cube from Shiro’s hand, shuddering when their fingers brush.Matt digs his fingernails into the ice, turning it on it’s point so that the edge traces freezing lines on his skin, rivulets of water following its path.Matt raises his face, not quite meeting his eyes as his gaze hovers around Shiro’s chin and his eyes quirk up in an expression Shiro is too uncertain to call hope.As it melts in his hand, Matt reaches for another ice cube, squeezing this one in his free hand until his knuckles go white and water seeps from between his fingers.Shiro pushes the bowl to rest in front of Matt’s crossed legs before he pushes back a few feet.

He sits there, waiting, watching Matt for who knows how long, before all the tension drains out of him in a matter of seconds.His shoulders go lax, his hands fall to rest on his legs, his head thunks against the wall.Shiro sits up, grateful for some change, and nearly cries when Matt’s hand shifts slightly in his direction, reaching for him.He still won’t meet Shiro’s eyes, but as soon as he’s close enough, he curls in on himself and rests his head on Shiro's thigh, closing his eyes and sighing contentedly as Shiro runs his hands through Matt's hair.With every moment that passes and every stroke of his fingers, he seems to relax further. 

Eventually, when Matt is sleeping soundly, Shiro gently slips out from under his head and moves to pick him up.As he’s carrying Matt to their quarters, he stirs minutely and his eyes flutter open, meeting Shiro’s for the first time in hours. 

“Takashi,” he whispers, almost too soft to hear.“Thanks.”


	3. Sick Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro has a terrible cold.  
> Matt is a good boyfriend.  
> Things don't go quite to plan

 

When Shiro shows up to their ET Skills class, his eyes are puffy, his nose is red, and he looks like he hasn’t slept. But his back is straight, and he looks determined, so Matt doesn’t mention it. 

When Shiro pulls out the wrong manual and then gets frustrated that he can’t find the right chapter, Matt slides his own copy across the table. 

“You sure you should be is class today?” he asks. 

“Sure”, Shiro says.“It’s just a low grade fever, I’m fine.And I couldn’t miss, with as much as we cover, I can’t afford to.”

Matt just raises an eyebrow and starts reading softly to Shiro from the book, and he doesn’t miss the way his shoulders sag is relief. 

By the time they’re halfway through their four hour seminar, Shiro is having trouble keeping his eyes open.He has one palm pressed over the right side of his face and isn’t even attempting to work on the knot tying skills they’ve been assigned to practice. 

“Are you sure you don’t want a painkiller or something?” Matt asks?

“No, I’m fine, my head just feels like it’s pressurized or something.”He grimaces when Matt starts to massage his temples, but the furrow in his brow soon relaxes.“Actually, yeah, do you have any on you?”

As Matt pulls out the pill bottle, Shiro checks his watch and groans.“I don’t know if I can do this for another two hours.”

“I know babe, I’m sorry.We can skip out, if you want, get the notes from someone.”

“No, no, it’s fine, just give me the meds, Holt.”

Shiro spends the last 15 minutes of class with his head resting on the desk and Matt gently rubbing his shoulders.Matt’s taking notes for the both of them, but he knows Shiro will be frustrated with himself for not being productive.He only hopes he’ll hold off on the self-loathing until he’s feeling better. Despite Shiro’s token protest, Matt packs up his bag for him and leads him back to the suite they share. 

Shiro doesn’t speak the whole walk home, managing a slow shuffle with the occasional prod from his boyfriend, and he toes off his shoes the moment he crosses the threshold.He collapses onto the couch and Matt takes a moment to pull a blanket over his shoulders and lay a soft kiss on his heated forehead before he moves to their small kitchenette. 

Chicken noodle soup shouldn’t be too hard, right?It’s just chicken and noodles.He has made both of those before.Technically. 

He gets about a quarter of the way through the ingredients list before he realizes he’s going to have to improvise a little bit.That’s fine.He’ll be fine. 

He knows they have chicken tenders in the freezer.Shiro thinks he’s a little bit ridiculous, but he’s an adult, and he can buy himself dinosaur chicken nuggets if he wants.They’re protein so really, Shiro can’t complain. 

And there’s pasta in the cabinet.Technically it’s cup ramen, but it’s pasta.It will work. 

And there are carrots in the fridge!upon closer inspection, there are a few that are moldy, but he picks those out and chops the rest into pieces and sets them aside. 

First step is to boil water.He can do that.They haven’t got a “medium pot” as per the instructions, but the little one they use for when Shiro makes pasta should be fine.He fills it up most of the way, and sets it on a burner to heat.Step one: complete. 

The carrots are done, and he hasn’t got chicken or vegetable broth, so he dumps the carrots and the flavor packets from two cup noodles into the pot.Because the broth is for flavor.Problem solved. 

The chicken ends up being a little more difficult.His adorable nuggets are frozen solid, and he spends a good 8 minutes trying to cut them with a knife (and a pair of scissors, and his bare hands, and a mallet) before he realizes that he has a microwave.More importantly, he knows how to _use_ a microwave.So he sticks a handful of nuggets on a plate with a dash of water and hits the defrost button.He’s a genius. 

The pasta is easy.He just dumps the blocks of ramen into the pot of water and sets his phone timer for 20 minutes (like the website said) and settles in to wait. 

He ends up getting a soda for himself, and then a glass of water for Shiro which he sits on the coffee table as he seats himself between the end of the couch and Shiro’s feet in the kitten slippers Matt got him for Valentines day.He gets about five minutes into his extraterrestrial biology reading before he hears an ominous hiss. 

He makes a mad dash for the stove (which really isn’t all that effective in the seven feet from the couch to the kitchen) and wrenches the lid off the pot because there’s yellow bubbles _everywhere_ and the pot _boiled over_ and he forgot it could do that.Once he wipes the counter down, though, it’s not too bad.He’ll just turn the heat down, and he won’t put the lid back on, and it will be fine. 

He’s barely sat down again before he notices an odd smell from the kitchen.That probably isn’t the water.He’s up and frantic again, halfway to the fire extinguisher when he realizes that’s not the problem.The smell is definitely coming from the microwave, but nothing’s on fire.He pops the button and the smell gets _much_ worse.But the nuggets don’t look horrible?So it’s probably fine.Upon attempting to cut them, he realizes the problem; they’re about the consistency of leather.Or that gross jerky that’s on every spacecraft ever.But it’s fine.Definitely easier to cut than when it was frozen, so he counts it as a win.Plus, boiling it in water will fix the moisture issue for sure. 

He dumps the chicken cubes into the broth (though ‘cubes’ might not be the right word: they’re neither equilateral or equiangular) and goes back to his spot on the couch. 

By the time the alarm on his phone goes off, he’s abandoned reading in favor of watching Shiro’s chest slowly rise and fall in sleep, and the loud noise scares the shit out of him.Shiro stirs in his sleep as well, but Matt’s not too bothered because the soup should be ready now and he’s about to cement his position as the best boyfriend in the world.He pours the soup into Shiro’s favorite bowl (it has a cat’s face on it, with ceramic ears and everything) and brings it carefully out to the living room with a spoon and a napkin.Shiro is blinking awake by that point, and he looks absolutely adorable, even if his cheeks are flushed with fever. 

“Is that… soup?”

“Yep.Though it literally just came off the stove, so it’s still really hot.Do you want crackers too?Do we have crackers?”

“No, I’m fine, thanks,” Shiro replies.“You made soup?”

“Yep.”

“Alright then.”

There’s a moment of silence where Shiro sits up and immediately presses himself all along Matt’s side before he jumps up, dislodging him. 

“Let me grab you an ice cube.No point in waiting if we don’t have to.”

When he returns, Shiro is about to give himself third degree burns with the soup anyway, but Matt just shushes him and drops the ice cubes into the soup before returning to his spot and pulling Shiro back against him. 

“Are you feeling any better?”

“Hmm?Oh, less tired, I guess.My sinuses are still clogged to all hell, but the headache is a bit better, thanks to the medicine, probably.Thanks again, by the way.”

“No problem, babe.”Matt places a gentle kiss on the crown of Shiro’s forehead before gesturing to the soup. “I think it’s probably good now.”

He tries to tamp down his anticipation as Shiro takes the first spoonful.It’s just soup.It wasn’t even that difficult.He still feels a rush of disappointment when Shiro nearly chokes on the spoon. 

“That bad, huh?”

“No, no, it’s not bad, it’s just, you know.I think my cold’s kind of killed my appetite, is all.”

“Bullshit, let me try it, you big liar.”And when he does, he nearly spits his soup across the living room.It’s not good.The noodles wouldn’t be half bad, but the chicken is definitely overcooked and that taste just infected the whole bowl.It’s disgusting, and the chicken itself is tough on the inside and soggy where the breaded coating is.It’s a disaster, and Shiro is cracking up. 

“What’s so funny, huh?” Matt tries to sound stern, but he knows he’s not pulling it off with the way he can’t help but smile at Shiro.He’s red-faced and wheezing for a _good_ reason this time, and Matt can be proud of that, at least.By the time he simmers down, Matt is cracking up, spoon tumbled to the floor somewhere, and that sets Shiro off all over again. 

By the time the two of them are relatively calm (though Matt keeps breaking out into fits of giggles) Shiro is slumped against the couch and Matt is settled in against his shoulder. 

“Thanks for trying,” he says, but the laughter in his voice completely ruins the sentiment. 

“Yeah, I’m just going to order Chinese, you were always the better cook.”That leaves Shiro cracking up again as Matt calls their favorite delivery place and honestly, that’s Matt’s favorite sound in the world. 

 

(When Matt catches the same horrible cold three days later, Shiro makes him rice porridge from his mother’s recipe, which is the most romantic version of porridge Matt has ever encountered.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is 15 minutes late and I'm sorry.


	4. Snowed In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Shiro get snowed in.   
> It's really not that bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has sex in it. be aware

Matt’s rustling around on his side of the bed when Shiro wakes up, and pulls him tight against his chest.Matt wriggles a bit, getting comfortable, and eventually settles against Shiro with his phone in his hand. 

“There’s an email from the Garrison.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.Classes are cancelled.Apparently, there’s two feet of snow on the ground and they’re afraid people are going to hurt themselves getting to class.”

“A whole school full of the country’s most skilled engineers and innovators and all it takes is 24 inches of frozen water to bring everything to a full stop.”

“I don’t know if I would call this a full stop, I mean,” Matt drops his phone on the bedside table and snakes his arms around Shiro’s neck.“I think we’re doing alright in here.”

Shiro grins down and pulls him closer still.They had had an early night in anticipation of an early morning, but with the day stretching ahead of them as blank as the snow, his imagination is running wild. 

Matt kisses him warmly, a sharp counterpoint to the chill in the air and Shiro stretches himself over his smaller boyfriend.This is one of his favorite things about Matt’s height, that Shiro can just envelop him in warmth.He kisses Matt slowly, languidly, with all the speed of a man who knows he has all day if he wants it.Matt’s hands migrate to his hips, fiddle with the elastic of his boxers, and Shiro thinks that maybe, if Matt wanted, he could be persuaded to move a little faster. 

When Matt rolls his hips up and pulls down on Shiro’s he has a vision of how this all will play out.Matt’s in a demanding mood this morning, that he can tell, and he’s more than happy to do just what his slight boyfriend says.Though, Matt doesn’t even really need to say it, at this point. 

Matt tugs on Shiro’s leg and he goes willingly, straddling Matt’s hips and gyrating a bit once he’s there.He’s not vain, but having someone jump his bones on a regular basis has given him an idea of what Matt thinks of his body, and’s not afraid to use that to his advantage.he slides his hands behind his head, showing off his muscles chest, his arms, and he knows it’s working when Matt’s eyes trip down his body and he licks his lips.Matt may be the more dominant personality in the bedroom, but Shiro never feels powerless, not in the ways that matter. 

He rolls his hips down against Matt’s and gasps; he can feel Matt’s dick stiffening where it’s trapped in his boxers, and he reaches down to pull it out, means to undress them both completely, when Matt grabs his hand. 

“Don’t,” he says, breathless, face flushed.“I want you just like this.”

Matt’s shaggy hair is spread out around his head in a messy halo, his head tilted back and his neck exposed and that, combined with his words, set a fire in Shiro’s groin. He adjusts himself on top of his boyfriend and moves a slow circle, hovering just high enough to be a tease.Matt groans and plants his feet before thrusting up and catching Shiro off guard.He gasps and comes crashing back down before Matt takes two handfuls of his ass and starts kneading.This is another thing he’s noticed Matt likes, and he’s certainly not about to stop him. 

He leans down to suck on Matt’s neck, the spot below his ear, his collarbone.Matt grunts into the morning air and Shiro settles in just under Matt’s ear where his hair will cover and _bites_.Matt gasps and then _moans_ and his thrusts pick up speed.Shiro grinds down hard as he sucks at the hickey that’s forming, and he feels the tell tale pull in his groin that means he’s getting close.He pushes down against Matt, trapping their hard dicks between their stomachs, and frotting against his boyfriend like he can’t get enough. 

And he can’t.He’s grinding down frantically, hickey abandoned in favor of panting against Matt’s neck, but it’s not enough.He feels like he’s riding the edge, like he’s close, but he can’t get there and it’s going to kill him.He’s moaning now, he knows it but he doesn’t care, because Matt is beautiful and perfect and he’s so damn close, and just when he thinks ‘this is it’ that they’re going to have to change positions before he’s going to be able to come, Matt works a hand into the back of his boxers and finds his hole and just presses, gently presses, and he’s not just tipping over the edge, he’s hurtling into the abyss.He’s got Matt’s neck in his mouth and it’s only a moment before Matt’s coming too, a broken off shout into the air before his grip on Shiro becomes vice-like for a moment, and then gentle, boneless. 

Shiro feels like he’s floating, pressed against Matt as much as he can be, warm and sated and so so happy.His boxers are damp, so are Matt’s, and they don’t have long before that becomes uncomfortable, but for now they just lay there in the quiet. 

Matt’s the first to start moving, stroking softly up and down Shiro’s back.He eventually moves so he’s not precisely on top of his boyfriend, and he takes Matt’s free hand in his, lying his head on his chest. 

Matt’s also the first to speak.“You’re so fucking hot, goddamn Shiro.Like, you have the whole ‘strong and silent’ thing going at the Garrison, and everyone thinks you’re this pinnacle of responsibility but damn.I can never forget what you look like grinding on my dick.It’s honestly one of my favorite things.”

“I wasn’t even riding you, really.”

“Still fucking devastating, jesus.How the hell did I make it with you, huh?”

“Your elegance and charm, definitely.”

Matt snorts, and Shiro knows he’s just joking, but he needs to be sure. 

“Some days I wonder why you stay with me.”

“Shiro…” and that’s Matt’s sad voice, so he cuts him off. 

“I don’t mean that in a bad way, just that you’re not the only one who lucked out.I think you’re pretty swell too.”

“Swell?Shiro, you think I’m ‘swell’?” he asks drily.“I’m really touched, I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about me.”Matt is snickering now, and Shiro is smirking up at him, but Matt pulls him closer and turns so they’re facing one another.Matt manages to even out his voice before he says “I think you’re pretty swell too.”And then they’re giggling, but their eyes are locked and Shiro pushed up for a kiss that lasts far longer than he originally intended. 

When they finally pull back, it’s because their boxers really are getting gross.They change quickly to avoid the chill and climb back under the covers.Matt grabs his laptop and boots up Netflix and they prepare to spend the day in bed. 

“We could always have a snowball fight later,” Shiro suggests.He’s met with a sharp glare from Matt. 

“If you even think about bringing that powdery abomination anywhere near me, you will be sleeping on the couch.”

“Alright, but only because I love you.”

“Damn right you do.”


	5. Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> slightly feelsy beach sex  
> nsfw, obviously

It’s rare that they find a planet with he right properties to be safe to both humans and Alteans, rare enough that when it happens on a planet where the climate is temperate and warm, the paladins demand they take full advantage.Lance has managed to find a small beach (the water is green, which is weird) and he’s trying to convince Keith to join him and Hunk in making a sand castle, and Coran looks like he’s about to jump in in Keith’s place.Pidge is hovering under the canopy Allura helped them set up, and they seem more interested in the sun’s radiation than swimming, but as long as they’re happy, Shiro’s not going to question it. 

Matt doesn’t seem like he believes his eyes.And, Shiro realizes, he probably doesn’t; he’s been in Galra prisons for well over a year, and likely hasn’t seen sand, or an ocean, or a sky in just as long.Sam had opted to stay in the castle, but Matt had jumped at the chance to explore the universe.Now, though, he doesn’t look likely to take another step. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Shiro asks, and Matt seems to come back to himself. 

“Yeah, it really is.Bright though.” 

“Sun must be different here.”

“Must be…”Matt trails off and seems to retreat back into his head, and Shiro’s getting concerned. 

“Matty, are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.Just, you know,”he takes a shaky breath, but seems more present.“Just a little overwhelmed.It’s been a while since I’ve seen the sun.Well, _a_ sun.I mean, we saw plenty of stars from the ship, but there weren’t many windows in Galra prisons.And I guess it’s nice to see the sun through the atmosphere.I don’t know, I can’t really describe it.It’s nice though.”

“I’m glad you like it, but if it gets to be too much, tell me, okay.I don’t want you to push yourself.”

“Kashi, I doubt I can hurt myself on a day at the beach,” Matt says with a smirk.“I’ll do my best not to overexert myself splashing in the water, or lounging in the sun, but really, it’ll be difficult.”

Shiro cracks a smile at Matt and his worries rest.If Matt’s cracking jokes, he must be at least alright, if not 100%. 

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” Matt continues.“I think I’m going to get in on that sandcastle action.”He jogs over and lands with a crash and a spray of sand, annoying Keith and making Lance and Hunk laugh.Shiro smiles to himself, heading for the water. 

Keith eventually retreats under the canopy with Pidge.Allura joins Shiro in the water, and Lance and Hunk follow.Matt can’t seem to get enough of the sun, though that’s understandable.Shiro knows how dark those cells were, knows how after a while, you start to forget what sunlight feels like.He at least was in the arena, with the bright lights and a bit of variation, but the work camp where they found the Holts was nothing but underground tunnels, monotone walls and monotonous work.He can’t imagine what the sun feels like on Matt’s sickly-pale skin. 

Shiro tries to carry a conversation with Allura, something about the trace mineral concentration and variations in the water, but he can’t take his eyes off of Matt.Hell, Matt was the extraterrestrial biologist, he should be over here talking to Allura.She eventually takes notice, and his cheeks burn when she says “You seem a bit distracted, Shiro, is something wrong?”

Shiro whips around to face her, excuse on the tip of his tongue when he finds she’s smirking at him.She raises one slender eyebrow, and Shiro covers his face with his hands. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, thoroughly embarrassed.“It’s just…. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him this happy. 

“I have never seen _you_ this happy, Shiro.I am glad you have him.”

Shiro grins to himself indulgently.“So am I.”

Matt splashes out to join them minutes later and Allura launches into her explanation again, this time with Matt hanging on her every word.His attention is directed at Allura, but he’s tucked himself under Shiro’s arm, very much in his space, and the arm he has looped around Shiro’s waist is stroking along his side gently.He should maybe be more worried about the paladins seeing, about this undermining his authority, but he honestly can’t bring himself to care.He pulls Matt tighter into himself, resting his chin on the top of his head.Allura doesn’t miss a beat, but he can see the corners of her mouth pull upwards a bit more, and he knows she appreciates seeing him so relaxed.He casts a quick glance around: the others all seem occupied, so he rearranges himself behind Matt, arms wrapped around his waist, nose nestled in his hair.He loves being here, draped around Matt like a blanket.He loves the feeling of safety that comes from hugging him, loves how Matt can talk and talk and leave Shiro to just observe.Matt may not enjoy small talk or parties, but he’s always been the more outgoing of the two.He slides his thumbs into the waistband of Matt’s swim trunks (or the Altean equivalent) and kisses his head softly.He stays there, rubbing teasing circles into Matt’s hipbones for a few minutes before Matt takes a measured breath Shiro knows means he’s thinking.He’s not surprised when he excuses them from the conversation with an line about exploring. 

Matt practically drags him back to shore, but doesn’t stop when they reach the canopy or the paladins.He continues on, around a rocky jetty and past huge spires of sandstone that jut up from the ground.Matt stops then, breathing hard and with a tight grip on Shiro’s hand.

“You can’t do that sort of thing in public, Kashi,” Matt says, but he’s grinning up at Shiro like he’s proud. 

“What thing?” Shiro asks, because he enjoys being a little shit. 

“You know exactly what you were doing, the thing with your fingers, and the kissing, and the touching…”

“So you don’t want me to touch you,” Shiro asks pulling away. 

“Not if it’s going to work me up like that in front of a space princess, Shiro!I was trying to make a good impression.” He’s feigning annoyance, but he pulls Shiro back in, looping his hands around his neck, pressing them together chest to chest. 

“Now though?”

“Now is fine,” Matt says, and his voice has dropped. 

He kisses Shiro hungrily, and presses him backwards against the nearest pillar.He hits it with a thunk and the feeling of Matt pressing against him and boxing him in gets him immediately half-hard.He sighs into the kiss and brings his hands up to Matt’s hips, circling the jut of his hipbones again, and Matt shivers. 

“You’re dangerous, Shirogane,” he says, but he knees Shiro’s legs apart and presses his own erection against Shiro’s thigh.He’s a bit too short to pull this off comfortably, but Shiro is happy to spread his legs, bend his knees, and make up the difference.Especially if it means he gets to be smaller than Matt for a change. 

Matt slides his hands down Shiro’s bare chest, And Shiro shivers.He’s blushing fully now, flushed down to his pretty chest and Matt can hardly stand it.He digs the pads of his fingers into Shiro’s pecs, scratches with his fingernails lightly, and Shiro moans when Matt tweaks one of his nipples. 

“You’re so gorgeous Shiro, god, look at you.Such a pretty boy for me.”

Shiro whines at that, closing his eyes as his head rolls back.He drops down to grind against Matt’s leg, and he’s practically panting when Matt goes to kiss his neck.He works over the skin under Shiro’s ear, and his hips jerk down reflexively.Matt is fully hard in his own trunks, has been for a while now, and when Matt begins grinding against Shiro’s thigh, Shiro’s own motions quicken. 

Matt breaks the kiss and Shiro whines, but it quickly turns into a moan when Matt begins nipping and sucking at Shiro’s nipple, the other still at the mercy of his hand.His right hand, now free, drops to the front of Shiro’s shorts, grinding his heel against his dick, and Shiro whines.His hands thread into Matt’s hair as he nips at Shiro’s nipple, and stay there when he takes it between his teeth and pulls, eventually releasing it to drop to his knees. 

Shiro’s eyes go wide at that, but he makes no move to stop Matt as he pulls Shiro’s dick out of his shorts, pumping it a few times before taking the tip into his mouth.He always gets so worked up when Matt plays with his nipples, and the saltiness of his precome is something Matt is used to at this point.He doesn’t push himself, not when he knows they’ll have to rejoin the group eventually, so he keeps just the first few inches in his mouth, focusing on working with his tongue and hands.He works his tongue especially at the base of Shiro’s head, which makes his hips squirm, and he takes a moment to rake his fingernails through the hair at his groin before moving one hand back to tease at Shiro’s entrance.He doesn’t push in, this is neither the time nor the place for that, but he presses lightly, massaging with the pad of his finger with just enough pressure to remind Shiro what he _can’t_ have right now.Matt’s other hand works over Shiro’s shaft, pulling firmly with a driving rhythm, twisting slightly towards the top. 

Matt knows his blowjobs aren’t exactly legendary.He wishes he could deepthroat Shiro, or do something equally spectacular, but it catches him off guard every time just how easily Shiro comes apart in his hands.He’s a sweaty, shaking mess above him, and Matt is eternally grateful that he gets to see this, gets to _have_ this.Shiro is one of the strongest people he’s ever met, and he allows himself to fall to pieces and trusts Matt to put him back together again.Matt will never understand that, but he works every day to make sure he deserves it. 

Shiro starts pulling at Matt’s hair, sharp pains in counterpoint to his own pleasure, and Matt takes it for the warning it is.He pulls back, tightens his grip, pulls a little faster, and in a moment, Shiro is coming all over his face and chest.He collapses to the ground in front of Matt and immediately kisses him, heedless of his own come, and reaches for Matt’s own dick faster than he can react.He then gives Matt what is probably the sloppiest handjob of his life, made only messier by Shiro trying to kiss his come off of his boyfriend’s face.Matt comes giggling, happier than he thinks he’s ever been, and he pulls them back so they’re lying on the sand together, completely disheveled, under an alien sun. 

“We should probably get back soon,” Shiro says after a while, and Matt laughs at the thought.He’s sure they look an absolute mess, between their disheveled hair and the blushes he’s sure are still present. 

“Yeah, I’m not facing my sister looking like I just gave a blowjob.Come swim with me?”

He does, and they manage to get themselves into a state of beach-dishevelment rather than sex-dishevelment in no time at all.They walk back to the others hand-in-hand, at least until Shiro gets pulled off by Coran to discuss castle maintenance and Pidge comes to rope Matt into a sandcastle building contest. 

By the time the sun starts setting (though it’s more a shift to one horizon than a full set) everyone is exhausted, and Matt looks pink in the cheeks and wholly content.Shiro couldn’t be happier. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is actually late, and I'm sorry, but schoolwork and sleep take precedence over fanfiction


	6. Bruises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rough-ish morning sex. 
> 
> I refuse to write angst for this prompt.

Matt has taken to sleeping in Shiro’s bed.He still has a room of his own, for when he needs to be completely alone, but it’s mostly empty.They’ve both found that their nightmares seem to be less severe when they’re with one another, and when one does wake up screaming, the other is there.It’s not perfect, and Matt will sometimes leave if he’s keeping Shiro from sleep he desperately needs, but for the most part, it works fairly well. 

At the moment, Shiro realizes it’s both a blessing and a curse.Matt is spread out on his bed like something from one of his better dreams, hair tangled in a halo around his head, arm thrown haphazardly around Shiro’s waist, a string of dark hickeys blooming across his neck and collarbones.Shiro hadn’t realized at the time how rough he was being, nor how _visible_ the marks would be.He rolls to face Matt and trails his fingers over his hickeys

“Does it hurt?”

“Only in the good way,” Matt said softly, smiling. 

“Didn’t mean to make ‘em that dark.”

“Trust me, babe, I’ve got no problem with it.”

“Yeah, but still.I’m sure we could find something to cover them, right?Coran’s shirts always have really high necks, we could grab you one of those.”

“Or,” Matt juts in. “Consider this: we just stay in bed until they go away.”

“That’ll take days, Matt.”

“Exactly.”Matt’s wiggling his eyebrows in a way what would be impressive if it weren’t so absurd. 

“I really don’t think that’s realistic.We’d have to eat at some point.”

“Psh, eating is for quitters.‘Sides, plenty of protein in here.”

Shiro goes bright red at that and laughs.“Oh my god Matt you did not.”

“Yeah, not in the best taste, but I don’t regret it.So, what do you say, want to hang out in here for a while, just the two of us?”

“We have to go to breakfast.”

“Alright, yeah, but not _right now_.We can take a few minutes… an hour maybe… we’ve got time.”Matt stretches himself out beside Shiro in a way he _knows_  gets to him, but Shiro can’t bring himself to care.He plays tough, but he wants nothing more than to fall back into bed with Matt, mark him up some more, leave permanent evidence that he’s Shiro’s.So yeah, they could get to breakfast late, just this once. 

Shiro pounces with all the coiled power of a predator and none of the lethality, landing on Matt withsoft _whumph_ and attacking his neck with a passion.Matt groans and slides his hands down Shiro’s body (still unclothed) to rest on his ass. 

Matt could write sonnets about Shiro’s ass, but for now he settles for groping it, squeezing the muscle with probably more force than is needed. 

Shiro groans into Matt’s neck and rolls his hips against the mattress, which only makes Matt grip him harder.With the amount of sex they were having, this really shouldn’t be a problem, but Shiro is constantly amazed at how little effort is required on Matt’s part to get him worked up.And obviously he thinks his boyfriend is hot (and stunning and capable, anddrop-dead gorgeous) but there’s something about the way Matt treats him in bed, manhandles him almost, that never failed to set him alight. 

“Gonna fuck me or what?” he asks eventually, vice rough with arousal and breath short.

“What?” 

Shiro thought it had been pretty bold of himself to say it in the first place, he doesn’t think he’s going to be able to repeat it.“Did you want to… y’know.”

“Shiro, babe, love of my life, Kashi.I _always_ want to fuck you.All you have to do is ask, anywhere, anytime, I’m down.You want me to prep you?”

“Yes please,” he mumbles into Matt’s neck.

“Alright,” Matt says, swatting his ass.“Up, up, lie face down.”

And if that doesn’t go straight to Shiro’s dick.He does as he’s told, settling himself on his stomach with a pillow under his hips while Matt grabs the lube. 

Prep is something that Shiro really enjoys, and as Matt spreads his ass and drips lube onto his hole, he is reminded why.Shiro loves the care that Matt takes with him, the attention he pays him, while still maintaining control of the atmosphere.He loves lying back to let Matt make the decisions, give him exactly what he needs.And Matt is more than happy to take care of him. 

His fingers suitable slick, he massages at Shiro’s rim, pressing gently until he’s relaxed enough to let Matt slide his first finger in.After that, Matt is efficient, and Shiro is working his hips impatiently as Matt twists three fingers in his ass. 

“You good?” Matt asks, but he’s doing it as much to be a little shit as he is to check in.

“Do it, for fuck’s sake Matt.”

“Do what, babe?What do you want?”

This boy is going to kill him. 

“Fuck me, Matt.”

He takes a moment to line himself up before he pushes in just quickly enough to keep Shiro breathless, just slow enough to be painless.He settles his hips against Shiro’s ass and ruts against him minutely, but doesn’t pull back yet, just sits there. 

“Fucking move Holt, I swear-”

That’s what Matt was waiting for, it seems, because as soon as Shiro starts talking, Matt pulls back and starts a quick, rough pace, punching the breath out of Shiro’s lungs.It’s incredible, the way Matt can completely overwhelm his senses and calm his mind.It’s one thing to be a cool and confidant leader, but it’s something else entirely to have to maintain that in his personal life and with Matt, he doesn’t have to.Matt fucks him the way he needs, fast and forceful, but not unpleasant, not painful, not really.Matt’s fingers dig into the meat of his hips, his ass, but it’s more of a peaceful ache than real pain.Even the occasional needling of his nails is welcome, because it means that’s Matt’s fucking him harder, faster, _better_ than before. 

Being trapped in a mining colony, for all its shittyness, had done wonders for Matt’s muscle tone, and Shiro is not above reveling in the fact that Matt can pull him back on his dick with no problem, can have an iron grip on his hips.He loves the fact that Matt feels secure, safe in the restriction of his pelvis in Matt’s strong hands.He doesn’t have to work for it, Matt just gives it to him, or does it himself. 

Matt doesn’t seem to have a problem with this either, more than happy to manhandle Shiro into a good fucking, to do most of the grunt work in the bedroom when it makes Shiro this happy, this relaxed.He’s more than happy to pound Shiro into the mattress, if that’s what he wants, because that’s certainly what Matt wants.And he’s happy to lean over Shiro, brace one arm by Shiro’s head, the other still in an iron grip on his hip, and latch his mouth on to the meat of Shiro’s shoulder to start leaving his own mark there.With the shift in angle, Matt starts hitting his prostate with relative consistency and if Shiro had the focus to spare, he would be thankful the castle is mostly soundproof because he cannot stop the sounds falling from his lips, the groans forced out of him on every other thrust, the way he moans when Matt takes a moment to seat himself full inside Shiro and grind his dick against his prostate, making Shiro’s vision go dark around the edges. 

Shiro’s going to come soon, he knows he is.His toes are curling and there’s the telltale tingling in his groin, and he wants Matt to touch him desperately, but he doesn’t want Matt to stop anything he’s doing right now.When Shiro starts grinding his dick against the bedsheets beneath him, Matt picks up the pace and starts whispering in his ear, telling him what a sweet boy he is, how pretty, how good, how obedient. 

Matt’s dirty talk had been more of a surprise than it probably should have been, but it never fails to turn Shiro on beyond belief.Within moments he’s coming, hips bucking between the friction of the sheets and the fullness of Matt’s dick.Matt’s coming a moment later, the convulsions of Shiro’s ass too much to resist, and Shiro savors the feeling of Matt filling him up. 

Matt collapses atop him a moment later, but he’s not that heavy, and Shiro loves the quiet weight of him. 

“Looks like you’ve got a mark of your own now,” he says, poking at Shiro’s shoulder.“Your suit should cover it, though, so that’s alright.”

Shiro only hums in agreement, not quite up for words yet.Matt pulls out of him gently and lies beside him, trailing his fingers over Shiro’s relaxed entrance.It feels nice, just on the pleasant side of ‘too much’ and he moans as Matt begins to finger him.He’s not going to get hard again, but it feels like he might, his dick twitching against the mattress.They lie like that for a while, content, relaxed, until Shiro’s pushes Matt’s hand away and he gets up to grab a washcloth.He wipes down Shiro’s abs and between his legs, cleaning as much come off of him as he can, before coaxing him out of bed. 

It’s not until they get out of the shower later that Shiro notices the blue handprints blooming across his hips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm late again.  
> School is hard. Writing is hard. But this was fun.


	7. One Sided Pining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro meets the esteemed Dr. and Mr. Holt.   
> He makes a fool of himself.   
> He gets a second chance at a first impression with Mr. Holt, Matt  
> (sfw)

Alright.Maybe it was a bit excessive.Between the (multiple) signed copies of his books and the large poster hanging in his room, one might imagine that he had a bit of a crush on Dr. Holt.But, Shiro insisted, it was purely academic.It was natural to want to follow the career of the man that made space travel beyond Earth’s lunar orbit possible.The man who had been Shiro’s idol since he had first learned about interplanetary travel.It was _perfectly natural_ to admire a man of such skill, ambition, and ruggedness.So Shiro was a little flustered the first time they met… that was perfectly natural too!This was the man who had inspired him to go into aerospace engineering in the first place, the man who designed the machines he was training his ass off to fly, the man whose roguishly handsome face and chiseled jaw were plastered on the inside cover of _every single one_ of his textbooks!And he had been selected to fly Dr. Holt and his son to the farthest reaches of the solar system, where no human had ever gone.A journey only made possible by the research that Dr. Holt had done over the course of his lifetime.He was allowed to be excited, goddammit. 

That’s what he told himself, anyway, as he sat in his bunk and tried to refrain from tearing his hair out.He had made a complete fool of himself.He’d been introduced by his commander as ‘ _the most competent pilot in his class_ ’ and then hadn’t been able to say a damn word, too tongue tied by the stupidly attractive Dr. Holt and his stupidly attractive son to think of anything intelligent to say, much less say it.They were probably reassigning him at this very moment, sending him back to basic, replacing him with a more _heterosexual_ pilot who could keep his damn emotions in check. 

Shiro was mentally drafting his letter of resignation from the Garrison when a light rapping came from his door.Which was ridiculous, because anyone who needed access had access, and he wasn’t needed anywhere, and really, he just wanted to be left alone right now.But Shiro was polite, and a soldier serves his community, so he got up to open the door, fully expecting to find a timid underclassmen with a question about laundry.Instead he finds Holt.The young Mr. Holt.Dr. Holt’s son.Stupidly attractive Holt 2.0.Which is about the last thing he needs right now, to get notice of his reassignment (humiliation, doom) from the second most attractive man he has ever seen. 

“Mr…Officer…Shirogane, sir.”

“Dr. Holt!Mr. Holt, sorry… sir.”

“Mr. Holt is fine, Shirogane.I haven’t quite managed my doctorate yet, huh?

“No, of course not, sorry, sir.”

“Or you could just call me Matt, if you wanted.”

“Is that what… you want?Sir?

“Yes,” Mr. Holt nodded decisively.“Call me Matt.”

“Matt.I’m Takashi.” 

“Nice to meet you, Kashi.”

“Did you want to… come in?”

“Thank you.”

As Mr. Holt, _Matt_ , crossed the threshold, Shiro tamped down the panic rising in his chest. This was fine.This was perfectly fine, he was getting a second chance, he could prove he wasn’t a bumbling idiot, this could happen, he could make this work.It was fine. 

“Can I offer you something to drink, or…”

“No, thank you.I just wanted to come and see you, talk to you properly.I know Iverson didn’t give you much of a chance to talk when he introduced us, and I wanted to get to know you on more causal terms.And, I mean, we’ll be spending a lot of time together, between training, and then on the ship.But I mean, obviously you knew that.Sorry, I’m rambling, I guess I’m just a bit nervous, I mean, I was so excited to meet you, and then between my dad and Iverson it felt like a playdate or something, I mean.I just admire you very much, you’re very talented, and I watched your Juliett 84 run, when you broke the speed record for the course, and that was so incredible, and I meant to tell you that but, um, I didn’t.I’m sorry, I’m making a fool of myself aren’t I?”

Holt seemed almost out of breath after that, eyebrows drawn together in concern, and god, he was beautiful.Shiro found words eventually. 

“Um, thank you.For that. And for coming to see me, I’m sorry I didn’t say much, I was just so embarrassed-”

“Oh, please don’t be, you were fine-”

“-I mean I’ve followed your dad’s career for ages and then I got to meet him-”

“-he’s really such a dork, you don’t have to be nervous-”

“-and then I just couldn’t say anything, I made such a fool of myself.”

“You were fine, Shiro.My dad was very impressed with your professionalism.Though he thinks you’re a bit of a tightass now.”

“Really?God.You know, I thought you were here to tell my I was off the mission or something, I just really thought I messed up.”

“No, Shiro.My dad was really excited to meet you, and I’m really excited to get to know you.I’m looking forward to working with you.”

“Yeah?I’m looking forward to working with you.I don’t think you know how excited I was when I heard I’d been picked to fly _both_ the Holts to Kerberos, I thought I’d read the notice wrong.”

“No, we’re lucky to have you.”

“Thanks.I’m lucky to have been chosen.”

“I doubt luck had anything to do with it.”Matt smiled at him widely, brightly, and Shiro’s stomach swooped.That smile was going to cause him trouble. 

“I can’t hang around too long,” Matt continued.“But I do want to get to know you better, maybe we can grab lunch together at the Tyson Lounge.I get out of class at 12:30.”

“I’ll meet you there at 1.”

“Sounds like a plan.Thanks, Takashi, it was nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, Matt.”

As the door slid closed behind him, Shiro dropped face-first onto his bed and groaned.One attractive Holt was enough.Two was more than his little pan heart could handle.And Matt was nice!And polite! And he as so cute when he talked!And that smile!And the way he said his name! 

Shiro was doomed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also late, but two updates in one day, what's that about?  
> (it's me feeling guilty for being late, that's what it's about)


End file.
